You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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