we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
