what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm like, not good at living.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
