He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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