And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
My liver just had a heart attack.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
