i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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