Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
