I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
