My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
