I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Who died my cat blue again?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
