Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
