i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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