I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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