Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
