we have pet lesbian snakes
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize