Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
