i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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