i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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