I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
