I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
