look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
