I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
