there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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