No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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