I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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