I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
