And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
