remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
