I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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