Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
