you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize