Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
