where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
