maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
