official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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