He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
