Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Drake has all the answers
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
