i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
