dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
