Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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