this just has baby written all over it
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
