i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
