plz talk dirty to me
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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