Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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