So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
