i permit you to call me
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
