what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
