My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
