Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
