So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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