they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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