I am puke
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
