Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
