I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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