Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
