Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
