when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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