you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I think i got beer on your cat.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
