I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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