if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize