I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
should my penis look like a turkey
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
