I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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