Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
