i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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