you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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