She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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