Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
