R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
