Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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